i was thinking today, as i was running against the cool spring breeze, feet hitting the pavement, watching the world begin anew with the promise of spring and the hope of warmth and longer days, that most of my problems hinge on faulty thinking and beliefs.
i use this terminology because i only know enough about counseling to do more damage than good, from the three classes i took in seminary. the most helpful thing i learned about in one class was about our thought processes as humans, and how one attempt in counseling is to “re-write” our thoughts. we can’t change how we feel, but what we can influence are the thought processes behind our feelings, which in turn can change our feelings toward something.
that’s a long explanation, but hits close to home when i remember that i often forget that God is loving and good. i know that sounds ridiculous, but in the mundane-ness of living day-to-day, waking each morning with a familiar routine, seeing a world full of hurt and pain and grief, wishing that some things were different in my life and thinking i’d be happier if life was just a little different…sometimes my perspective is just a bit cloudy.
most of my sin problems don’t originate from addictions or evil temptations or indulgence. at the heart of it, i really think my sin sneaks in because i lose sight of God’s goodness and his love, and somehow i forget – or deny – that God loves me and wants what is best for me. so in those moments, for me, sin is trying to take my own control of my situation, or despairing, or being bitter, or wanting to satisfy or glorify myself, or seeking my satisfaction in something else, because I have forgotten that God’s love and mercy know no end, and that he knows what is best for his children – not necessarily best for their comfort, but best for their holiness and for conforming them to the image of his son.
God’s heart is kind. we sang that today in our contemporary worship service at church. for all his goodness, i will keep on singing. he is good – even when i don’t see it, or can’t trace his hand, or don’t understand his plan at all. so the solution to my problems, which really seem fleeting and temporary in the light of eternity and reflecting on the character of the Father, is to trust that he is who he says he, and will be who he says he will be.
that he will never act in a way contrary to his character.
that his way is perfect.
and that his heart is kind.
credit for the artwork goes to hayden, who made this as a birthday gift for me. she captured this beautiful declaration of YHWH so perfectly.