the next month is going to be crazy, and chaotic, and sad, and exciting, and difficult, all at once. sometimes, i need to take a moment to breathe, and to remember God’s goodness. and maybe to tell you all about his goodness, so when i’ve lost perspective, you can remind me. i hope you do.
this year could have gone all kinds of ways. it could have been incredibly stressful–and it was. it could have been really sad–and parts of it were. i could have worried about all of the changes–and i did. but God was faithful, even when i wasn’t.
friendships. one of the good things is that God knows what we need, often before we need it. i’ve needed my friends this year, and they have been beautiful and wonderful and gracious and helpful. and i’ve made and developed new friendships. i can’t imagine my life without hayden walker and am thankful for thursday lunches at taco mama and rushed lunches at beeson and frantic phone calls, and everything in between. for calls from people like ellen stewart fails (whose name is now a sentence), who makes me laugh for hours with her very good stories on facts about childbirth. for countless camp friends who read my texts, listen to me cry, encourage me, give me somewhere to stay in their house, bake me cupcakes, make ridiculous signs for me at the airport. blessed.
family. family has always been different for me. and yet i’m so blessed to have such a wonderful mom. and such amazing grandparents. and family here. people who plan surprise birthday parties, and take me home from wisdom tooth removal, and who are gracious enough to refrain from filming me while on pain medication. people who encourage and love me even when i’m at my worst–and my worst includes a swollen, bleeding face, half stumbling around their kitchen.
theology. i’ve learned so much in the last year. about God. about Hebrew. about the prophets. about declaring His word. about counseling, and ministering, and practical aspects of serving. i’m blessed with a mentor group at Beeson which is truly one of a kind. i love being able to learn from such different people.
work. i can’t imagine my life not working at MBBC. i can’t imagine my life without some of the most fun, exciting, exhausting, and encouraging youth in the world. and i can’t imagine my life without the boos. i’m sad to see them move–but so thankful to have seen them grow–from infants to turning over to sitting up, to crawling, to walking, to talking. seeing them laugh when i tickle them, or hearing ben proudly give all of his animal noises. i couldn’t have asked for a better job, or a better boss, or a more wonderful family to work with this past year and a half.
the little things. lots of little things are blessings. the way it feels after walking and running around the neighborhood. finishing a good book by kevin deyoung. laughing in my bed, where no one can hear me, to some silly line from the gilmore girls. the satisfaction of printing off and turning in papers and crossing off assignments. the smell of my fabric softener. the way Webb gives people knucks. guacamole, any time of day. a funny text message, or nice voice mail, or piece of unexpected real mail. the ability to put together words and thoughts and communicate. people to listen to my ridiculousness, through texts or phone calls or face-to-face conversations, or just through reading this blog. the quiet peace that comes after a long day, just as you fall asleep. the grace i forget to notice every day, as i’m able to take another breath, and live life…even when it’s stressful, and hard, and sometimes sad. grace. that’s not a little thing. it’s the biggest thing.