my best friend misti bailey’s birthday is really a week of celebration. she fondly refers to it as “misti-mas.” now, i’m not planning on celebrating my birthday all week or anything, but i really was thinking today about what i’d like for my birthday, and it was hard. i’m the kind of person to just buy what she really, really wants…or decide she doesn’t need it at all. so it makes it hard to give my family any indication of things i’d like. in fact, this year i went ahead and bought my gift from my family (two seasons of Gilmore Girls) and they told me they’d just give me money. i’m lame, i know. so, in the spirit of birthdays, here are a few wacky birthday gift suggestions if you’re looking for some:
i need somewhere to live for the fall. so, if you have a spare bedroom or know of someone who does…let me know. not necessarily joking about this.
i’d really like for Ben (one of the twins) to unlearn the word “no.” so, if you can teach him now to unlearn this word (and how to not say it repeatedly every time i ask him to do something), that would be a great gift.
i love wearing flats, but i’m having a hard time finding no-see socks, which don’t slip off of my sole. maybe i need some personalized socks?
i’d love my own plane so i could fly and see everyone i wanted, and then be back where i need to be on my birthday.
you could get me a time machine so i could rewind these past few months and buy me tickets to see ben rector and needtobreathe in birmingham.
i need beezers. so, take a drive to columbia–or come from columbia and bring me a sandwich from beezers. i’d like a what’s up doc, with extra veggies. yes, i’m ordering the veggie sub. yes, i’d like extra vegetables. i know that sounds redundant, but it’s so good.
take my hebrew midterm for me. this is the least ludicrous of the birthday wishes, i know.
i have this gamecock watch that i love, which is broken. it just needs to be taken to the watch repair shop, or store, or whatever, and be repaired, but i’m so busy and forgetful that i never manage to do it. so, you can come find the watch (it’s on the blue bookshelf) and have a new clasp put on it.
speaking of bookshelves, i need a new one because the one i got last year from the splawns is full. we could paint this one green…
a year’s supply of skinny cow strawberry shortcake ice cream sandwiches–my newest sweets craving.
teach me how to make a skinny caramel macchiato, from starbucks, so i won’t spend $5 on one ever again.
here’s a for serious one: why we love the church by kevin deyoung. or his new book on social justic.
and another for serious one: owen’s analytical key to the old testament. the serious ones are making me sound like a nerd. oops…
someone to come and pack up all of my stuff in two months for me, and move it. after finding me somewhere to live.
a personal air conditioner to use while in charleston. as in, an air conditioner i could even carry around outside with me during registration. charleston…you are so beautiful. and so muggy. and so beautiful. and so humid. we love and hate each other, i know. mostly, you hate my hair…but the feeling’s mutual.
my final wish? this can be a for-real, after camp one, but i’d like a pet. i know, a dog is impractical. and after poor peedabber (see: cat my mother ran over and lied to me about for twenty-years), i don’t know that i want a cat. but a fish! i’d love a fish.
oh, and one more: the twins are moving during the summer. if you could make that not happen, that’d be awesome. i’m going to be really sad without them.
final ludicrous wish? clementines in the summer. i’m going to miss eating them a lot. i need to like fruits that aren’t so seasonal.