just in case you wondered.

i have a birthmark.  it’s in my hair. i know, right? it’s this weird blondish-brown streak underneath my top layer of hair, and i can just barely see it every day when i blow dry my hair, as i brush it.  apparently i’ve had it since birth, or so my hairstylist from my hometown says. it always amazes anyone who cuts my hair here. apparently i’m an oddity.

i’m the most indecisive girl in the world–about where to eat, about what to do, about what to buy, about her feelings…all of it. i’m always the last person at the table to choose something from the menu, and the one who has to send the waitress or waiter away multiple times. always.

i like it when people call me by my name. maybe everyone likes to be called by their name? i’m not really sure. anyways, i like it, because it’s personal, and it’s identification, and who i am. it’s also really nice when people who are really close to me call me “ames.” it’s kind of endearing. my best friend in college, anna harper tucker (i always call her by her full name), was the first person to call me that, and it stuck. it’s just a close, personal friendship thing though…maybe not what i want everyone to call me, haha.

i can’t see myself living in the country, at least not for a long period of time in my life, but there’s nothing quite like bonfires, and fireflies, and cold winter nights that are so clear you can see every star in the sky, and friends, and family.  in small, perfect doses. i think i’m made for the city, at least for the next little bit in my life.

i love advent. i love the minor prophets. i love the urgency, the expectation, the awaiting of hope. holding your breath, and wondering, and dreaming–and then Jesus breaks through, in the flesh, as a babe in the manger…and it’s to go to the cross. that’s beautiful to me. i also love “o come, o come emmanuel.” the words are so haunting, and the hope is so vivid.

i really like writing. if i could make a living writing whatever i wanted, say, like this blog, i probably would. i love doing it. and i liked writing the sermon i just preached–it was the preaching part that was a little terrifying!

i’m a quilt kind of girl in a world where most people sleep under comforters. i also prefer my twenty dollar jersey knit sheets over the expensive, egyptian cotton stuff.

i wish i took more pictures to capture the moments of my life. maybe that’ll be one of my new years resolutions.

i love my gamecocks, through and through. i wear garnet. i experience the heartbreak of the chicken curse. i cheer them on even in games like arkansas where i think they’re probably going to lose. it’s funny to think that eight years ago, i really had no collegiate team preference.  and now, i’m sure if i ever have kids, they’ll know the words to the alma mater pretty early in life.

i don’t have a whole lot figured out in my life. i know it might seem like i have it together, but i don’t. some days i just try to make it through the day. and some days i dream about what’s next. and some days i’m afraid. and some days, i feel a mixture of all three of those things–if you can believe that girls can feel conflicting emotions all at once (don’t worry, we can…)

my favorite movie is probably remember the titans. i can quote most of the lines. i have to fight the urge to cover my eyes, just like precious sheryl yoast, when i watch the state championship game, because i’m really concerned if the rev’s gonna make the play and pull it through for the titans.

every day, i’m convinced more of my own sinfulness, and depravity. i think those are good things to feel, and to wrestle with. and i’m more and more convinced that God’s saving work is of my doing, and that he is the one who is calling, and calling, and calling. it has nothing to do with me. it’s all about grace. i’ve been shown a lot of that.

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