severe mercies.

“God never witholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God’s refusals are always merciful — “severe mercies” at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our heart’s desire except to give us something better.”

–elisabeth elliot

elisabeth elliot might be one of the most frustrating–and most intelligent and encouraging–authors i’ve ever read when it comes to the christian walk, especially for a female.  i picked up passion and purity on my way to new orleans, and while i didn’t like everything it had to say [because it was convicting, not because she wasn’t right!], i’ve been drawn to a lot of her work and writings because they are incredibly challenging.

sometimes, i have to confess, i think that i have everything figured out.  that i, in fact, can make plans for myself, and my friends, and my family, and my life, better than they can.  and i think that if i’m really honest with my blog-self and all 2.5 of my readers…i would say that i also sometimes fool myself into thinking that my plan is obviously God’s plan.

and, more dangerously, when it becomes obvious that my plan isn’t God’s plan…well, i get angry. and frustrated. and annoyed.  and i usually tell Him he’s wrong.  sometimes that’s by pursuing my plan.  and sometimes that’s by just…telling him outright that i think he’s wrong, and his plan is awful.  not in those words, mind you.  but that’s what i basically mean.

how ludicrous is that? and how crazy?  i hate when kids i babysit for, or nanny, throw tantrums.  and yet often in my own spiritual life, i throw a whole lot of tantrums and have some pretty severe toddler meltdowns.

so here’s to recognizing i don’t have it all figured out.  here’s to respecting that God knows what is best for me–and i don’t.  that when God says no, it’s for a good reason.  and that waiting for what he has in store is much better than trying to amass my own “good life” on my own.

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