today, i failed a test. i’ve never legitimately, really, in all actually, in real life failed a test. i’ve “thought” i failed a test before, but then turned out to get a solid C. today, i left too many blanks for a solid C…or D, for that matter. fail. literally.
today, i locked my keys in car. in the ignition. granted, i turned my car off before i locked them in there, but still…and i didn’t realize it until i was on my way to nanny…and the twins’ dad was having surgery today. fail (in a not-as-literal sense…)
today i’m sad, and frustrated, and i feel…defeated. it’s like there’s always so much to do, and only so much time to do it. and i only have so much energy. and there are moments filled with quiet sadness, and thoughts of hard decisions, and feeling pain for friends who are suffering and hurting.
i don’t have all the answers. in fact, today i don’t really feel like i have any of the answers. i’ve been up since 3am, and i’ve gotten little sleep all week. i’m sad for no reason, and frustrated with something i can’t change, and in general…blue.
i’d like to be in south carolina, having a slumber party with misti. or even in north carolina, having mexican with my family.
here are the things i learn on days like today: some days are hard, for what seems to be no reason at all. and some days are sad, for a million reasons–or for none at all. and you do what you can with them. you get through it, and you try not to cry, and you remember that tomorrow might be a better day. and, if you’re like me, you have to remember that we weren’t promised ease of life, or comfort, or anything else on this earth. that’s for heaven. for now, i’m called to trust in Christ, to be patient, to move on, and to continue.
always easier said than done.