my friend misti bailey tells me, “patience, little one.” a lot. and i’ve been thinking about patience–a lot. and specifically, thinking about the many areas of my life in which i lack…you guessed it…patience.
at first i wanted to write a blog about waiting. but no one likes waiting. it seems really unglamorous–and i would say that i’ve spent a lot of time waiting in my life, especially over the last three months [for example, waiting in 5pm traffic to merge onto I-26 W from 526 in the lifeway van in charleston, waiting at cvs for prescriptions, waiting for that truck from lifeway with all of our stuff in it…] but honestly–it doesn’t mean that i know very much about waiting, or about patience. and being patient is knowing how to wait, with grace, i guess.
if you can trust wikipedia [and let’s face it, you can’t], whoever wrote that particular wikipedia page defined patience as “the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one’s character can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast”
honestly. there are lots of areas of my life in which i completely lack patience. namely, sometimes, i’d like to make God’s plans for him. so, instead of waiting on him and being patient and humble and realizing that i’m the created–not the Creator, haha–i get some ridiculous idea in my head about how my life is going to be, and before you know it, i’m off and running…and not waiting, and not being patient. trying to fix things myself, and make things happen myself, and make my own plans…instead of waiting. and most importantly, instead of waiting on God and being patient.
and i’m just not very patient. i’d often much rather take things into my own hands instead of “wait and see.” ava was right–waiting is excruciating, especially when you don’t know if what you’re waiting for will ever happen. but…and there’s a but:
- if i trust God’s sovereignty and his plan, and that he is in control of things, i should realize that my waiting on him is part of submitting to his will and authority
- if i recognize that whatever God has planned for my life is so much better than anything i could ever conceive or dream, then i ought to be able to let go of my own plans and trying to do things myself, and be patient
- if i know that God is in control, i should be able to wait, in peace, without worrying, because worrying and being anxious are also apparently sins.