i am not my own.

sometimes–well, most of the time–i’m a moody, irrational girl. my mood swings up and down, my emotions change in a blink, and i often make things that are not a big deal into, well….a very big deal.  sometimes i lose perspective and forget about the ultimate goal, as i chase after my own life goals and plans and dreams. sometimes, i feel lonely and like my life hasn’t been “fulfilled” yet in certain ways, that i’m missing certain comforts and lacking in experiences others get to have as i finish this neverending master’s degree.

today, i was thinking about the heidelberg catechism…which is probably the MOST random thing to think about, but i kept remembering the first line, about one’s only comfort in life and death.  and that’s Christ…not my achievements, accolades, relationship status, grades, bank account, family situations, or ‘personal fulfillment’.  it’s Christ.

so often i put so much stock into what’s surrounding me, the things in my head, the hopes in my heart, the disappointments that i feel…that i forget my ultimate goal in life is not be happy but to rejoice and glorify the Lord forever. to find my comfort, my identity, my everything in him. and in all things, to willingly and readily live for him–even in the situations that are hard, and difficult, and not my ideal.  sometimes, i lose perspective. sometimes, i forget that there’s a much bigger picture. sometimes, i just need to focus….


What is your only comfort in life and in death?

…that I am not my own but belong–body and soul, in life and in death–to my faithful savior Jesus Christ.

He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil.

He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven: in fact, all things must work together for my salvation.

Because I belong to him, Christ, by his holy spirit, assures me of eternal life, and makes me wholeheartedly willingly and ready from now on to live for him.

–from the Heidelberg Catechism


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