for the first time tonight, i really realized how i have to hold everything in tension. i live, and work, and serve, and reside, in birmingham. it’s my home for at least the next three years. and yet, i spent four years–four life changing years–in south carolina. when i say “we” here and discuss the gamecocks, i have to name my “we”. i never had to do that in south carolina. on top of that is the fact that i lived in north carolina for eighteen years, and my family and friends are rooted there.
sometimes, i feel pulled in three completely different directions.
for every person that means the world to me in birmingham, there are two more in south carolina–who know me, the intricacies and delicacies and the stories that make me amy. for every friendship i want to build in alabama, there’s another one to maintain and strengthen in south carolina, or north carolina, or any other place.
i write this all to say that it’s really hard. it’s hard to be 100% in a place when parts of my heart are other places. it’s something i want to do–but it’s much more difficult than i ever realized.